I am sure by now many of you will have read my last article, in which I recounted the story of Conor and how his initial small wins turned into serious + lasting gambling harm.

Eventually Conor’s situation became so dire and detrimental that (as I stated previously), by the time he came to my attention – the damage was done.

I would like to pivot here and say that Conor is a complete exception and outlier to the mean. I would like to say that.

The truth is though – Conor is not unique because most of us; as poker players and recreational gamblers; are losing: we start with X amount (via our deposits or bankroll or buy-ins or whatever) and we finish with Y amount (but only after we have engaged in some form of gambling-like activity for however long).

The dream is to finish each one of the X -> Y scenarios with more money than we started (Y > X), and that unfortunately is how far too many people (Conor included) look at this game we love.

The reality is to finish most sessions with less than you started (X > Y). I am sure if most of us stopped and looked back at a session result report and transaction balance audits over years – we are down…. And that can be okay. Normal even, and it doesn’t necessarily track that every losing player will become Conor-adjacent.

So please stop and consider before you read any further:

“Am I losing or winning long-term? / am I making more from this than I’m spending on it?”

“If I am a losing player – how bad is it really?”

“What can or should I do to tackle this?”

—————————–

Now to be perfectly clear and honest – I cannot teach you to make more money playing poker. Let’s just get that tied up right here and now.

It is a long time since my job was Player Advice and Education around:

• Strategy,
• Bankroll Management
• Mindset

Lessons and Cautionary Tales is not about making better winners. It is about dispelling a lot of the noise that floods the Player Welfare space:

• a lot of the myths
• half-truths
• outright muck

So I can’t help you make more money but I can help you spend (and lose) less… and a dollar saved is a dollar earned.

 

Basics Lesson 1:

Set a deposit limit today. Right this very moment, and stick to it.

Test yourself and your self-discipline. Let’s consider this a learning exercise or an experiment.

Set a value that you can easily afford week on week (my own recommendation is about 5 – 10% of monthly recurring/predictable income).

No more.

For any reason.

Ever.

Conor did not do this, as we have all learned. Conor deposited and burned his entire income (~100%).

I could write 100,000s on Deposit Limits and how they are (in my humble opinion) the single biggest x10’er in online gambling since the proliferation of broadband.

 

Basics Lesson 2:

Never ignore the outreach or interventions. I know these seem banal and bland but it isn’t. Believe it or not; the Intervention Emails or subtle Chat Prompts you receive from an operator or event-staff aren’t hollow exercises. They really aren’t.

See these interventions are triggered when there is a noticeable change in expected behaviour from a player. Think about it – in this game; observation, predictability, recognition are paramount to success (a lot more too but this is The Basics). If the machine or the staff spot that you are suddenly acting out of character – shouldn’t you? And what if you don’t or can’t see it in yourself – doesn’t it make rational sense to appreciate that others have the situation awareness to raise this with you?

Conor never engaged. Not once – and he did get a lot of outbound welfare checks in before I got involved.

Sure you can be sceptical and even cynical at times but what would it actually cost you to treat these with some demeanour?

“Hi Mr X; we have noticed that you have been depositing and spending a lot more in the past month than you have in the last few years.

A rich aunt dies and leaves you a fortune OR is there something else going on? Are you okay?”

What if the Tournament Director tapped you outside and asked you for a quick chat in the smoking area:

“Mr X – what’s going on? You don’t seem yourself lately and the way you’re spending – it doesn’t look like you. I’m serious now when I ask this – are you okay?”

This isn’t Mammy-State or Overreach. It’s genuinely staff doing their job – checking in on you as their customer.

I’m not pretending the quality of comms from all outreaches will be stellar [some are shocking] but the fact that it is done at all can give you some solace and hopefully guidance as to how you are really doing lately (not how you think you are).

Doesn’t it feel a little less daunting and more reassuring when you know someone will take notice.